I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
