just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
