dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
His nipple licking is glorious
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