I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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