All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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