I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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