My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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