do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
