what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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