No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
