Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
