Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
