Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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