Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
