He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
