Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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