This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My dick has a subreddit
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dicks are not precious.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
