hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
