yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
