That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
