if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
