I seem to have left my pride at pride
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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