I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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