We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
