ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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