new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is my gift to your gina
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
