White coat. Heels.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
