I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
