Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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