i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
3pm strippers are depressing
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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