Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
