Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
