I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
