Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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