do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize