i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
