im drinking this country out of the recession.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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