I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
