apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize