We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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