4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
