Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
