im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
