Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
