I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
