I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize