no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
