I seem to have left my pride at pride
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
