At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
