"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
