she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she smelled like a LAN party
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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