Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
