so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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