My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
