I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
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