Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
third nipple confirmed
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
