I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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