okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
