I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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