Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
