he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We have started to decorate penises.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
