So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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