you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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