also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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