I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
