Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
