I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my poor anus
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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