Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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