Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
