My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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